Free Rug Haikus

freestuffhaiku:

This is a story about my rug.

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Today I posted a boring old gray Ikea rug on the free section of Vancouver Craigslist at around 1:30am.

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By the time I woke up for work a few hours later, much to my surprise, I’d already received 36 emails about it. When I arrived at work at 9:00, the number was above 50. All in all, I got nearly 70 emails from would-be rug recipients. 

I am not one to be trusted with such power, so rather than give the rug away to the speediest responder or pick someone random off of the list, I made them compete for my amusement. The premise was simple: write a haiku about my rug. Best one gets it. 

And so, without further ado, here are the Free Rug Haikus.

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These are a few of my favorite moons. Not to scale.  These are a few of my favorite moons. Not to scale.  These are a few of my favorite moons. Not to scale. 

If wishes were soldiers
I’m a four star general
March on your capital
Retake the throne

If you flee the castle
I will search for you
I am determined to 
lock you up for good

And now this morning
there is a weight on me
Force of gravity
multiplied by one

In my left pocket
There’s no words for me
No one eagerly
breathlessly
waiting

This series of posters features quotes from some of my favorite artists and writers.  This series of posters features quotes from some of my favorite artists and writers.  This series of posters features quotes from some of my favorite artists and writers.  This series of posters features quotes from some of my favorite artists and writers.  This series of posters features quotes from some of my favorite artists and writers. 

Moon, Mt. Baker.

Invented (Jimmy Eat World Cover)

Sleep Kingdom

Listen

I used to sing this song for a girl. 

Park car at Sutter-Stockton Garage, breathe deep, walk slow
Navigate increasing heart rate, look status quo
Calculate spectre spectrum, pull jacket closed
Lock in on signal static buzz, worst fear exposed

Fog rolling over bridge now, plan your getaway
Always a step behind you, try as I may
Look out on murky water, signal getting bleak
I never should have come here, wasted a week

Drove five hundred miles to find what I already knew
There was never going to be any apparitions of me and you

I am hunting ghosts on Embarcadero
I am stalking shades in San Francisco